Sunday, April 4

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April 4, Sunday - Felt terrible today. Gloomy day. Spent most of day in bed. Patty and Walt came over in evening.

April 5, Monday - Bill and Sam were over - felt good today. Talked to Mary a couple of times. Didn't take tranquilizer. Went to store today.

April 6, Tuesday - Felt pretty good. Didn't sleep too well last night. Took tranquilizer today. Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick came over  - brought geranium and pretty red rug. People have been so nice.

Again, mom's sister Patty and her husband Walt. Bill and Sam are mom's brother Bill and his wife Althea, "Sam".

The Kirkpatricks are, I believe a church couple acquaintance of mom's from Bales Baptist Church.

In all my years, I never knew my mom to take a tranquilizer, sleeping pill, or so much as a sip of alcohol. Later on, as I approached my twenties, she mooched a couple of cigarettes from me, and went through the motions of smoking them, but never inhaled. I suspect this was an effort to shock me into quitting. It worked - twenty-five years later.

The idea that she was wrestling with the idea of taking tranquilizers at this point tells me that mom was really struggling with the unknowns of having cancer, and what the future had in store for her once the radiation and chemo treatments started. She was, simply stated, scared shitless.